Confusion...

So JayJay is back in town and has been for a few weeks... I can't help thinking that something is different about her. It seems that there is a certain kind of indifference to everything and I can't seem to figure it out... i wish i had the gene taht codes for intuition... and apparntly i don't have enough alcohol dehydrogenase to handle the beer that is in my body right now. really i am feeling very confused at the moment... i am dealing with a girl whom i am dating apparently yet i must be apathetic so as to avoid being upset at her apathy to everything ... i care about her yet i am not sure if she cares about me... it seems that there is always something on her mind and she is not talking to me about any of it... how i wish that i knew. The last two weeks seemed to resemble that of a married couple of 20 years: very rarely was there any physical affectionate touching (if there was it was me doing so, with the exception of her touching my bicep for a few seconds yesterday on our day hike... a few seconds wasn't enough time), lots of playful harassment that seemed to be taken past the point of playful, and moments just sitting there with nothing to say because the other person seemed to not care if I was there at all. I wonder where the JJ is that I came to want to hang out with a lot before the summer started... I wonder if I will ever see her again... :-(