The knocking at my door, the tapping at my window.
emo·tion: the affective aspect of consciousness b : a state of feeling c : a psychic and physical reaction (as anger or fear) subjectively experienced as strong feeling and physiologically involving changes that prepare the body for immediate vigorous action
I have tried in the past to make logical sense out of peoples' emotions. Of course i failed horribly but recently i've found myself everyday wishing that i didn't have any emotions. They have a way of confusing a situation that seemed to be taken care of and put behind me. Things don't go the way you want them to and you justify it, make it make sense to yourself, and move on, or so you think. But if you don't ever find a way to deal with the emotion underlying all the stuff that didn't go the right way, then it will keep knocking at your door, tapping on your window until you decide to do the ineviteable: give up and let them overtake you. Let yourself experience every emotion, every mood, acentuate and help the mood with music that walks hand-in-hand with it. The hardest part of it all, especially for someone like me is realizing that emotions are all-elusive and will never be completely understood. I have found myself experiencing a plethora of these little buggers and everytime it's eye opening in some small fashion. Today as a result of the two dreams i had last night (sorry, these ones will stay with me... and no, they aren't what you might be thinking they were) i realized how people can honestly want to give things another try... yes, i was giving it serious consideration today. I took it all in and ran with it for half the day, because shutting the damned things out hasn't been working. I have always felt that once things are over between 2 people, there is little chance of anything ever seriously working out... well today i caught a small glimpse of why exactly people will "give things another try". I realized that sometimes people make rash decisions, selfish decisions, cold-hearted decisions because they might be stressed out or something, and while they think the opposite, they aren't always best in the long run. I realized that 2 people can get back together and give things another try in all seriousness and not just be getting back together for reasons such as lonelyness. All of this i realized as a result of being bitch-slapped around by those funny little feelings deep down in my core for a little while. I am learning new things about myself and about life every day, all as a result of yielding to the knocking at my door, the tapping at my window.
I have tried in the past to make logical sense out of peoples' emotions. Of course i failed horribly but recently i've found myself everyday wishing that i didn't have any emotions. They have a way of confusing a situation that seemed to be taken care of and put behind me. Things don't go the way you want them to and you justify it, make it make sense to yourself, and move on, or so you think. But if you don't ever find a way to deal with the emotion underlying all the stuff that didn't go the right way, then it will keep knocking at your door, tapping on your window until you decide to do the ineviteable: give up and let them overtake you. Let yourself experience every emotion, every mood, acentuate and help the mood with music that walks hand-in-hand with it. The hardest part of it all, especially for someone like me is realizing that emotions are all-elusive and will never be completely understood. I have found myself experiencing a plethora of these little buggers and everytime it's eye opening in some small fashion. Today as a result of the two dreams i had last night (sorry, these ones will stay with me... and no, they aren't what you might be thinking they were) i realized how people can honestly want to give things another try... yes, i was giving it serious consideration today. I took it all in and ran with it for half the day, because shutting the damned things out hasn't been working. I have always felt that once things are over between 2 people, there is little chance of anything ever seriously working out... well today i caught a small glimpse of why exactly people will "give things another try". I realized that sometimes people make rash decisions, selfish decisions, cold-hearted decisions because they might be stressed out or something, and while they think the opposite, they aren't always best in the long run. I realized that 2 people can get back together and give things another try in all seriousness and not just be getting back together for reasons such as lonelyness. All of this i realized as a result of being bitch-slapped around by those funny little feelings deep down in my core for a little while. I am learning new things about myself and about life every day, all as a result of yielding to the knocking at my door, the tapping at my window.
posted by 13ismyluckynumber at 1:45 PM
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