Focus and lack thereof

So i went to campus for research... which amounted to a 5 minute conversation about the data we collected from our assay on the crabs. Dr. Watson is going to crunch the numbers and we are meeting again on Friday to see what the numbers can tell us quantitatively.

As i was leaving i passed jessica in the hall. she was getting ready to go into her physiology lab. she didn't see me, at least not until i passed her and stopped checking to see if she saw me. i didn't say hey or anything because i'm pretty sure she wants some space. nonetheless it was painfully awkward to just walk on by without even saying hey... i don't like the whole not talking at all thing. it just doesn't feel right to go from calling each other all the time to nothing... i guess all the stuff between me and her has really contributed to my moods being a little out of kilter lately. i guess it's because i'm trying to figure out what went wrong between us, but i don't think i'll ever understand it. so i continually think about stuff trying to understand it, because that is the nature of my brain... to try and understand things and be able to comprehend why things happen. all this thinking with no result just leaves me stumped and frustrated. this frustration leads to a lack of motivation in other areas of my life. i think this little bump in the road of my relationships, along with the fact that its my senior year and i can't wait to just graduate and work for a while, leads me into a mindset that makes it incredibly difficult to motivate to study. Not that i don't study when i need to, it's just a lot harder to focus and concentrate when i do.

i guess if all else fails i can fix that bump in the relationship road with a Russian Mail Order Bride... :-P